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Print"Back to school" means back to the routine. And for some parents, it's also back to homework hassles, bedtime conflicts and morning chaos.
Bethel Park Public Library will hold a Back to School Routines program focusing on stresses associated with the return to school. It will begin at 11 a.m. Saturday and be led by John Vaught, pastor and certified facilitator for ScreamFree Parenting.
The free talk will be open to the public and focus on back-to-school issues, including homework, the morning routine and bedtime.
Here are some tips from ScreamFree facilitator John Vaught:
• What your kids need when they are struggling is a calm and cool listener, not a reactive talker.
• Experience and consequences are far better teachers than lectures.
• There is a reason that lists of 10 resolutions never make it far; try changing one thing in your life at a time. You might be amazed at the impact it has on those around you.
• Homework is their job, not yours.
• Parenting is difficult but one of the best growing experiences that we can have. Always keep the end goal in mind.
"Homework is a big issue for parents," Mr. Vaught said. "So many parents want their kids to do well but are afraid of letting them fail on their own. Doing the homework for them doesn't help them in the long run."
ScreamFree techniques involve setting up a plan together and deciding on consequences that are appropriate for the situation when the child doesn't follow the plan. Many times, these are natural consequences.
"It's not me coming up with answers for people," Mr. Vaught said. "That's the hard part, because everyone wants to hear 'OK, do this.'
"Part of this program is helping us grown-ups to grow up as well and struggle through this situation. I can give you some ideas, but I can't say 'do this' and it will all work out. Each child is different. You might not be able to do the exact same thing with each child.
"Basically, the idea is that the best way to impact your kids is to control your own actions. A lot of the books you read are based on 'how do I control my kids,' such as in a store when they lose control and we get reactive. They may stop, but in the long run, that method might hurt their development more than help it."
ScreamFree Parenting was developed by Hal Runkel, author of the book "ScreamFree Parenting" and founder and president of ScreamFree Living. He's appeared on network television, including on NBC's "Today Show."
Mr. Vaught's family listened to the tapes two years ago while on vacation.
"At the end of the tape series, we asked the kids what they thought and they all answered, 'we like it.' "
Mr. Vaught and his wife, residents of Bethel Park, have three children, ages 13, 11 and 8.
He admits he's not always perfect. "It's a growing process for us as well. When I cross the line, I know it and I go back and say I'm sorry."
For more on the program, or to register, go to www.bethelparklibrary.org. For more information on ScreamFree Living, visit www.ScreamFree.com.
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