You would suppose some minimal number of ways exist that the Cincinnati Bengals could escape Heinz Field with a victory tonight, but they would veer hard toward the unconventional, perhaps involving the plot line of any of several Steven Seagal films, mass hypnosis, ferret smuggling, and at least one long kick return.

Which doesn't mean we're not going to look for some. No, not for some ferrets, for some ways the Bengals can win.

I was all set to warn you, for example, that the Bengals have always been a dangerous club coming off a tie, until minutes of actual research revealed they are not. In the entirety of Cincinnati's unstoried football history, there have been only two ties, the second being the hugely topical, 13-13 entanglement Sunday with the Philadelphia McNabbs.

Before that, you had to go to 1969 to find a Bengals game ending in a hung jury, a 31-31 standoff with the Houston Oilers. In their subsequent engagement, not even the pass-catching brilliance of Bob Trumpy could keep the Bengals from the wrong end of a 25-14 ruling at the hands of the Boston Patriots.

So, yes, the Bengals have come a long way since then. With the tie Sunday, in fact, they've failed to win nine of their past 10, 18 of their past 26, and 360 of their past 634.

Not to be critical.

The plain fact is the first-place Steelers present the Bengals with severe matchup problems, even -- get this -- on special teams. Normally, the Steelers' kickoff- and punt-coverage units are the football equivalent of a deep frying turkey incident ready to blow, but they've been superb this season.

That last sentence alone virtually guarantees a 75-yard return by someone in tiger stripes before midnight, and perhaps two others of similar length. And you thought tonight was just another AFC North Division formality.

"I think maybe there were a lot of young guys on the coverage teams last year that didn't understand the importance of special teams," special teams demon Keyaron Fox was saying after practice yesterday. "The NFL has always been a field-position battle. Our defense is so good, we have to approach it as though we're setting them up."

Fox was hired as a free agent off the roster of the Kansas City Chiefs just two months after the Mike Tomlin news conference that closed the 2007 season, the one in which Tomlin took one-half of one second to respond to the question: Which areas are you not happy with?

"Our coverage units," Tomlin virtually barked. "That is why I gave [special teams play] its just due leading into the season. I was hoping for men to seize those roles and move forward. We were unsuccessful in that area. We have to coach better. We have to play better. We will leave no stone unturned in making ourselves an elite special teams unit. That is the standard, because it is going to help us become world champs."

That was Jan. 10, 2008, five days after the end of Tomlin's first season as an NFL head coach, the season when his team allowed nine returns of more than 40 yards, including Joshua Cribbs' 100-yard touchdown, Steve Breaston's 73-yard touchdown, Musa Smith's 52-yarder, Terrence McGee's 63-yarder, and -- need I go on? -- oh yeah, Cribbs' 90-yarder.

Today though, the Steelers have the No. 1 kickoff-coverage unit in the NFL (allowing just 19.4 yards per return), and their punt-coverage unit, tops in the AFC, is allowing 4.8 yards on the runbacks, or half the league average. There have been no returns of more than 40 yards. That's with the same special teams coaches and many of the same players as last year, but with some key additions such as Fox and rookie Patrick Bailey, and some stunning development by people who've seized those roles.

"It's mainly guys who are just being really unselfish," said Anthony Madison, who leads the club in special teams tackles with 15. "You know you've got to bust a wedge, and that means you're not going to make the tackle, but you just do it because it's your job. It's a blessing to have the opportunity."

Madison got an opportunity to bring his cornerback dossier to the nickel defense Sunday, but his principle contribution will remain on kicks. James Harrison, the reigning AFC defensive player of the week who does everything but run the scoreboard for this team, is second to Madison with 10 special teams tackles. Fox has eight. Bailey, the rookie out of Duke, has seven.

"Special teams is just pure effort," Bailey said. "You have to be wild. You're just flying around, running into people."

At least that's the way it's been so far. Last year, there was a lot of running around and not running into people.

Not that that will never happen again.

Just sayin'.